Tribute video made by his family for his 50th Birthday (2009)
To see parts 2-5 of the Tribute video, click here
Emily's Tribute
Letter to Roy ........March 15, 2007
Dear Roy,
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I can hardly believe another year has gone by since we had lunch together at mom's house. As a matter of fact, I can't believe so much time has passed since we were kids playing with the fallen bird from its nest as we fed it milk to nourish it, or times we shared from the mission field.
I really appreciated being able to talk with you on various occasions, particularly at Chuck-A-Rama after Ray Johnson's funeral. The passing of a person's life has caused me to search deeply my soul and evaluate my life on how my choices have determined what I am, what I have become, and what I deal with at this time.
I was contemplating the questions I asked you...."So what gives you strength to deal with your difficulties?" "How can I over-come or conquer what I am faced with?"
It occurred to me that the emotional trauma we experienced in our life has had a huge toll on us. Some how I think we are alike in so many ways. We are very sensitive emotionally, we think deeply about issues and relationships...we are perplexed by the seeming paradoxes, inconsistencies, and injustices that are about us. We have been pricked with criticism, sarcasm, and point blank condemnation.
So, "How can I over-come or conquer what I am faced with?" It is largely my thoughts that prevent me from coping with my difficulties. I can't logically put away my concerns or physically change some things, but I can believe in myself, knowing that I am worthwhile. I can have promptings to know what I should do. I need to search out and ask the questions that need the answers. None of my physical appetites can heal the pain....(sleeping too much etc.)...nothing that I depend on physically to sooth me emotionally will take anything away. Potentially they would become a crutch or an added burden. Escape mechanisms only mask the pain and provide momentary pleasure and comfort. Counseling and family and friend support is crucial in healing.
Ultimately healing is couched in what you believe about yourself. Healing comes with forgiveness. Healing comes with the belief in the Savior's atonement for all people.
What do I REALLY believe? I believe that what all of us want is to love and be loved. I believe that I love you with all my heart. I believe that you are a kind, gentle natured man that wants the best for your family masked behind a huge wall. I believe that you want to have close relationships with your children and that they will grow up happy and healthy; that you will be able to provide a relationship with them that you so desperately have needed in your life. I believe you want fairness and equality; I believe you want to provide well for your family so that they won't have to suffer, but that they will be able to experience the good things in life. I believe you work hard, are caring and concerned and are sensitive to the needs of others. I believe you are inclusive and look for others who are without. I believe you try to give to others in need, but can maintain a balance of what you need in your life. I believe you have great work ethics and are striving to do well in your business. I believe in you and me, that we can find confidence and reasons for hope and gladness, and cultivate a spirit of optimism and happiness. I believe we can have impressions to choose what is right in all circumstances. I believe there is a God who truly loves us and if we seek him through prayer and fasting he will draw nearer to us. He can be a way to carry us through the darkness and the confusion, and comfort us in our pain.
I believe there is a way to go forward with confidence and strength, and to be comforted in our grief and disappointments and all that makes us suffer. I believe in the Savior and his atonement - that can heal our wounds and provide a way to escape so many difficulties in this life. I believe it is up to us to come unto him that he may heal us.
The Lord knows us, Roy. He knows our pain. He will have compassion and mercy and love.
I LOVE YOU.
Emily
We love you Pam. Roy will be missed. You are a courageous family who has already overcome many obstacles and you will make through this one as well as you rely on the Savior. Love you,
ReplyDeleteJaneal Irving
Just last week I mentioned to my husband how much I enjoyed talking to Uncle Roy at the last family get-together. He was always so caring and had a very kind heart. He would always ask me how things were going. I miss him. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeletePam,
ReplyDeleteWe are deeply saddened by your loss! You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers!
Love,
Rod, Aubrey and Alexandria
To Royal's family,
ReplyDeleteWe are shocked by Royal's passing. Yes we always called him Royal which he got a big kick out of. We all graduated from East High in 77. More recently Royal was our roofer man. In fact I was just waiting for the weather to get better and have him come back to fix another problem in my old house! Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. Royal was truly a king among men and we will miss him!
Vince and Greta
I was so surprised to learn of Royal's passing. I remember him as a smiling, loving and friendly big brother to my wonderful friend, Tina. Royal was easy to be around, good looking and confident. With me, the Irving family "goes way back" and each member has special significance. Life brings the unexpected but time and faith have the capacity to heal. I wish his wife Pam, his children, his family of origin and his extended family comfort in such a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very grateful to have met Roy. He had the biggest heart and love for everyone. My prayers are with his family.
ReplyDeleteLove,
JoAnnOffret LOF 257
Pam and family,
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry to hear about Roy. He was a great guy and our family really enjoyed being around yours. I personally appreciated his and your support in riding the MS 150 with us. We will miss him. I can't imagine what you are feeling right now, but please know you are not alone. You have a fantastic support group in your family and friends and I know they'll be there to help you through the coming months. Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you.
Gail Larsen and family
With heavy hearts our thoughts and prayers are with the Irving family tonight.
ReplyDeleteCoach Ski and family.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSarah, Justin, Jessica, Johnny.
ReplyDeleteYour dad was one of the greatest fathers I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I can't remember talking to him without having to ear about what each one of you were doing. He was always so excited to tell us about the new and exciting things in your lives. Never was there a man so proud of his children.
We are all saddened by the loss of such a great man, but enriched to have known him.
Our prayers go out to those left behind. It is a very sad time. May God bless you now and forever.
ReplyDeleteThe Doug and Esther Cahoon family.
Dear Pam and Sarah:
ReplyDeleteCraig, Christina and I were stunned to learn of Roy's passing. We are so sorry. Please know that we are thinking of you and your entire family at this difficult and devastating time.
With all our love,
Craig and Stephanie Merrill
Christina Posselli
Dear Pam, Sarah, Justin, Jessica and Johnny,
ReplyDeletePat and I were so stunned when Pam called and told us of Roy's passing. We still are at this time. Please know that all of you are in our prayers and thoughts. Roy had a great influence on everyone and I didn't know of anyone who could be more proud of his family than he was of all of you. I can't even begin to know what you are all feeling right now, but please know we are here for you and will be traveling up there tomorrow to support you at this difficult time.
Stuart McIver and Family
We are so sorry to learn of your loss. Roy is a wonderful man who helped us on countless occassions. He is responsible for building and restoring many houses for low income familes who would not have otherwise had an opportunity to own their own homes. His work was always of the highest quality, and he has always been a joy to be around. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteRoy and I are members of the East High School Class of 1977. I was not surprised to read that he rooted for the underdog and secretly served others because that is how I remember him from high school. Roy was an eager supporter of class reunions and I am thankful for the opportunity we had to catch up at the 30 year. I am honored to call Roy my classmate. We will miss him.
ReplyDeleteThomas and I were deeply saddened by the news of Roy's passing. We are grateful for the friendship we had with him. He truly was a very caring man. He always had a smile on his face for all he came in contact with. Our deepest condolences to you Pam and your beautiful children. Our prayers are with all of you.
ReplyDeleteLove, Thomas and Carole Harris
LO257
Pam
ReplyDeleteLorna & I were very sad to hear of the passing of Roy. We were not here long in Taylorsville before you moved but came to learn of the love Roy had for everyone. You and your family are in our prayers and thoughts. Yoru children have really grown into great young adults.
Love Stephen & Lorna Garlitz & Family
Dear Pam, I have never met you but know that you must be a very special person. The tribute videos brought back so many memories to me. I was there on some of the outings those photos showed. I have some of the same photos in the family albums I have. I remember the fun I always had with Royal, Tina, Susan and Emily. Harold was too old too play and Brian too young but Royal was just six months older than me. Noticing the pictures of Royal on horseback reminded me of how much he loved to come up to the farm in Barnwell, Alberta where he spent every minute he could riding my horse Peppy. There is even one picture around showing Harold, Susan, Emily, and Royal all on Pepper's back at the same time. Royal helped make my life as a kid bearable. When he was around I was able to be a kid and play and have fun and I know he had no idea the great influence he had on me.
ReplyDeleteMy mom, Royal's Grandma Irving, always felt that she and Royal had a special connection, and she was always sad when she was not able to arrange to see Royal when she visited Ken.
Love
"Aunt" Barilyn Irving Sopel
My prayers are with all of the family members at this time of sorrow.
ReplyDeleteIt was a real shock to receive the news of Royal’s passing. It is at times like these that I wish I had some magic words that could begin to help take away the pain and relieve the family’s suffering. As I told Tina upon hearing the news; unfortunately, I’m not wise enough to know what those words are. All I can do is to tell you that we are deeply concerned about each of you and share our love, sympathy and prayers at this difficult time.
I look back with fondness as I remember the friendship that I had with Royal growing up in the Hawthorne Ward and then again several years later as I studied with him in some classes at the University of Utah. I have tender memories of friends and leaders growing up in the Hawthorne Ward, and many of those memories revolve around the Irving family and Royal. They are sweet memories of seemingly little things like: Mutual (Young Men’s and Women’s) activities; scouting camps; horseback riding; sand dunes; Tracy Wigwam; Road Shows; climbing trees; hide and seek; playing ball; dances; and many, many more. While only a couple of years older than I am, when you are growing up, a couple of years sometimes seems like a big difference. Royal was always someone I could admire and look up to. Whether in scouting, priesthood assignments or Mutual, Royal was a good example to me and those younger than him.
As I returned from my mission and began my studies at the University of Utah, Royal and I had some classes together. He had many qualities I admire such as: a quick mind, a sharp intellect and a strong work ethic. He was also quick to smile, sure of his opinions and always kind and friendly.
I was blessed to be able to re-connect with Royal a few times after returning to SLC after many years of living elsewhere. He impressed me with his strength and ability to overcome his physical challenges. We had discussed meeting for lunch. I regret I will not have that opportunity.
As I started out saying, I wish I could share something with the family to ease your pain. I hope that my memories of Royal may be of some comfort to you; to know that he was loved, admired, and remembered with kindness by those of us who grew up with him. As I age, the world that once seemed so clearly black and white to me, seems grayer to me now. As they say, “the more I learn, the less I know.” But I am as certain as I have ever been that Royal is loved by his Savior. Even though I don’t know you all, I pray that those closest to Roy; mother, father, brothers, sisters, wife, children and friends, will also feel of His loving embrace at this time of trial and separation.
To Royal, my old friend, I look forward to our next reunion…until we meet again!
James Gehrke
Pam and family,
ReplyDeleteHold tight to memories for comfort, lean on your friends for strength, and always remember how much you are cared about. Roy was a great man. my deepest sympathy goes out.
Anne Spencer
Pam, we were very sad to hear of your great loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the kids. You are a truely good family. We have enjoyed getting to know you as a new part of our family! Please
ReplyDeletelet us know if there is anything you need from us
Love, Clint, Kim, Seth and Zane Taylor
I know I speak for the entire roofing community when I say that we lost one of our best in Roy. I always considered him good competition and knew that if I lost the job to him, at least I knew that they would be well taken car of. On a personal note, Roy was always very aproachable and would sit and talk, even mentor me, even back when my company was young.
ReplyDelete-Roy we will miss you
Emily, thanks for being such a good example of faith and kindness for all of us who know you. Your words are sweet and tender. May the Lord's choicest blessings be with you and your great family at this time and always. Love, Bishop Doug Richards.
ReplyDeleteUncle Roy holds a special place in my heart. I will always remember him as an uncle who genuinely cared about me. Whenever he saw me he was always quick to say hello and ask how I was doing and what was going on in my life. I could feel his sincerity in his inquiries and knew that he truly cared about me. Not only will I remember him for being genuine and sincere, but for being good, optimistic, hard working, supportive, loving and dedicated.
ReplyDeleteI remember one time during a family get-together he shared one of his favorite songs, "Angels Among Us" by Alabama. He was definitely an angel among us in our family. Another song I remember him sharing with us was, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." I think that is what he wants us to do.
I am so grateful for my memories of shared experiences with him and for the knowledge that I will see him again!
I love you Aunt Pam, Sarah, Justin, Jessica, and Johnathan! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Holly
sorry for your lose, he was a honest man who did good work! The construction world lost a real talent. May heavenly father bless you all!
ReplyDeleteTo Roy's family; you don't know me but I saw Roy's picture in place where we used to have lunch. He occasionally loaned me tools, I hadn't seen him for awhile. I'm hurt I didn't know about his passing until today. He has been a great inspiration in my life for 3 years. I an sorry for your lose. I know that I'll see him in paradise. I know he's helped hundreds of people, I'm glad to be 1 of them. I'll miss you Roy, your friend Brian Nimtz
ReplyDeleteIt's been three months today that you have been gone. We miss so many things about you, I am having the most difficut time cooking, you were the reason I cooked so much,you were my biggest fan and i loved your compliments on all that I created. I miss wrapping my arms around your neck while you worked on the computer, sitting watching t.v. and our legs crossed over each others lap so we could both get a foot rub, watching you read your book at night and you falling asleep with your glasses on and book still in hand and you waking in the morning wondering what happened to your glasses, you were always so appreciative when I would place them safley on the night stand. I look out the back window and imagine your truck driving in. Crazy all the things you don't appreciate until there gone. I'm reminded of the saying that we had put on my Mom's head stone, " You'll never know her value till you see her vacant chair". I Love You Roy and miss you terribly. Pammie
ReplyDeleteToday is four months, is it getting easier? I guess, depends on the day, what conversaitons i have had with people, things I see driving down the road, calls from bill collectors, working on the lawn mowers or string trimmers that can really make me ticked at you!!!! I still have not slept on my side of the bed, I don't watch the News or Jay Leno, some times I'll watch My Three Sons we loved watching that together. Life has changed, I miss you the kids miss you we are finding our New Normal. I Love you Roy, Pam
ReplyDelete8 month as of yesterday...We got Roy's head stone in just after Thanksgiving. I think the kids were happy with it. I changed the poem just a little to make it a little bit Roy's and a little mine. I love the U and and Y that is over mine and Roy's name, I think he would appreciate that. I am really looking forward to having the holiday's over, I am taking the kids and we are going on a cruise, I know a little overboard, ( no pun intended) but we needed somewhere that we could forget what we have been through and just enjoy ourselves for a bit. I am looking forward to that and just being with the kids and having some fun. I don't know if anyone reads this anymore but if you are reading this I would really appreciate knowing who you are and that you are thinking about Roy. "Life is Different" but we as a family and doing well.
ReplyDeleteLove you Roy, Miss you so much,Pam
Hi Pam,
ReplyDeleteI read it all the time. My thoughts and prayers are always with you and the Irving family.
You have my number please call sometime.
Gesse
Happpy Fathers Day Honey, Miss you so much! You were a wonderful Father to our children and they are missing you in every way. I love looking at the pictures where you were the kids Coach what a great time you had doing that. The kids were so proud of their Dad being thier Coach. We all had a fun life together, good memories.
ReplyDeleteWill Always miss you, Pammie
Happy Birthday Honey?
ReplyDeleteSorry one day late to honor Roy for his Birthday...
The boys went snowboarding yesterday, Sarah was at school all day, and I worked...Jessica was busy with friends... when we finally were together it was time to go to the sharing place...This is a place I tried to get into right after Roys death and a year later we were in....It has been such a huge help for the Boys and Jess. Sarah was not able to get in because she was over 18. The kids are able to be with other kids thier age that are experincing the same feelings that they are and have a place to express thier self.....they love this place and are willing to put in the effort to get there everyother week....
It almost two years.........................WOW! I never thought I could make it year. Its amazing what a family can do when they stick together...